Saturday, November 15, 2008

Time to get serious and have fun!

Life is sometimes like an oxymoron or it's ironic or it's paradoxical. I am sometimes amused by life's inconguities but recently I have just been plain frustrated. I have no idea where I'm going with this except for vague thoughts that are bouncing around in my head. More later!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Not much happening!

I just got back from driving my Mum to Brisbane so she could catch the bus to Toowoomba. I got lost so that is the last time I rely on my memory. We got there right on time despite the detour in the pouring rain. The bus was 1/2 hour late so there was no need to rush but of course we didn't know that. I saw her safely to the bus and then got the shock of my life when it cost $21 to park the car for just over an hour. I think it would have been cheaper to drive her to Toowoomba. I got half way home and my leg was cramping so I stopped and got a cup of coffee and a chicken salad. And guess what? I get to do it all again on Monday when Mum comes back. I don't like driving in the city, during peak hour in the pouring rain. So for the next few days it is just Dad and I while Mum spends a couple of days with a friend. Tomorrow I am going to a free life coaching seminar titled "Recovering a Sense of Identity". Something very important for Carers who feel like they are drowning and losing themselves. For me it started happening a long time before I started caring for my parents so I can't blame this situation. Some days it feels like I'm rolling boulders uphill with my nose while crawling on my knees. I look at it this way - at least I'm still moving and making headway, albiet ever so slowly.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Oh Bugger! Now it's Fibromyalgia

Just when I thought it was safe to go back into the water Fibromyalgia rears it's ugly head.
Fibromyalgia is a syndrome (FMS) with multiple symptoms that commonly occur together, including widespread pain, decreased pain threshold or trigger points, incapacitating fatigue, and anxiety or depression.
I had often wondered why I was hyper sensitive to pressure on certain areas of my body and felt like knocking the chiropractors lights out when he adjusted my lower back. Or why a massage never relaxed me like other people because it was always so painful. Doctors and other health care providers would always comment on the high level of inflammation I seemed to have but because nothing showed up in blood tests or x-rays then it was recommended that I go see my friendly local shrink. Here's the kicker - after coming off antidepressants, Zoloft, the pain got worse and then my doctor diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia. Zoloft is one of the medications use to reduce the symptoms of FM. So I guess it was helping all these years because now I know what it is like without the Zoloft. I am on St. John's Wort (Elezac) which might take another couple of weeks to show signs of it working. I guess I have to be patient. In the meantime I will overwork every method I know to cope. Listening to music, singing, light gardening, polymer clay play and blogging. Anything to keep my mind occupied. The other thing the doctor put me on was a muscle relaxant which I take at night but doesn't seem to kick in until mid morning and then I want to go back to sleep. Life is full of surprises.